Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life (NLT)
So, I am my husband’s Pirate. I’ve always known I was a pirate, deep down. I’ve even partially convinced my oldest son that I was a pirate before I married his dad. I knew it.
You may be wondering what this has to do with these verses in Proverbs. Well, it does have something to do with it. My journey into Proverbs 31 and discerning what it means for me to be a woman who fears the Lord starts with this first chunk of verses. It makes sense that if a parent is talking to their son about finding a wife they would talk about how she should treat him. My oldest son, who is 6 years old, is concerned that there will be no one to marry when he’s grown because I and his aunties are taken. I’ve talked to him about some characteristics that I wish for his future wife if he chooses to marry. I’d like her first of all to love GOd with all her heart and I’d like her to be nice. That’s as much patience as he had for listening. We went on to talk about Lego.
I think this passage is an important one. We hear a lot in our society about how we should be treated in a relationship. It seems that how we treat the other person gets a little less air time. In a relationship we want to be treated well but it is also vital that we treat the other person well. If my son marries, I want his future wife to treat him well. I also want him to treat his wife very very well. THis passage and these couple of verses in particular give an idea of what it means when a wife treats her husband well.
Verse 11 is particularly interesting to me and that’s where I get the idea that I treat my husband well by being a pirate. Fun! And I’m serious about that. The phrase “she will greatly enrich his life” can be translated as “he will not lack plunder”. The Hebrew word for virtuous or noble in verse 10 has a military connotation that we don’t really get from the English translation. So, these are not light and fluffy terms. Really, when I think about it, I am a warrior. This husband of mine, this man I married, is someone who I serve with, that I go through life with as part of a team. I think of it this way. In ancient battles, two soldiers would work in tandem. One would hold the shield and the other would wield the weapon. Each was vital for the other’s survival. The weapon bearer was vulnerable without the shield-bearer and the shield-bearer was vulnerable without the weapon bearer.
So, in my relationship to my husband, he is to have full confidence in me and lack for nothing because I am there as his partner in battle, as it were. What does that mean in my life? When I think of the image of being my husband’s shield-bearer, it means that I help strengthen him. I don’t attack him or leave him vulnerable. To my husband it means the world when I speak kind and encouraging words to him. I need to be a place for him where he feels he can be himself, that he’s not always on his guard waiting for that next unkind remark or that session of nagging. I need to show him that I have confidence in him as well, in his wisdom and strength and integrity. Neither of us are perfect but when I look at my husband and see that God wants me to honor my Lord by treating my husband well, I need to seek ways of feeding into him and encouraging him. The Love and Respect seminar at our church has had some really valuable tools in how to treat my husband well with my words and actions. It’s an excellent resource for couples at any stage in married life. One important thing it taught me was that speaking well of my husband to him and in front of our children and others is a very good way of showing him how I respect him. Kind words, a shout out on Facebook, telling our kids how great I think their dad is are all important things I’ve learned to do to show my husband I care.
Treating my husband well is a way of honoring God. God loves my husband as his child and wants what is best for him. I show my love for God and love for my husband by being a strong wife who has his back and cares for him as her partner for life. I want to be my husband’s Pirate. Weird, I know, but kind of appealing.