This weekend wasn’t a typical Thanksgiving. And as I write it’s with a mind and heart that have seen Facebook posts of pies and family photos and gratitude challenges.
My family, both sides, loves the tradition of same every year dishes and casseroles and Turkey comas. This year there was more family gathered together than I can remember but it wasn’t for the traditional Thanksgiving meal. It was for a funeral meal.
This year’s thanksgiving was full of family and memories, of tears and uncertainty. Grief and what ifs? Potluck and hugs instead of turkey and stuffing. The loss of an elderly woman who was my aunt, a sister, mother, friend, grandmother.
My list of what I’m thankful for is different this year. It has less of a dodged-a-bullet feeling like so many prayers can have. Glad that we made it through another year without…
In the midst of helping others with their grief, feeding bodies when you really wish you could heal hearts and sooth souls, my list has taken on a new tone. So here’s what I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving season.
I’m thankful that when my 5 year old asks about heaven I can, along with his 9 year old brother, offer him glimpses of hope.
I’m thankful for the Bible, the gift God has given us to speak truth that’s the foundation for that hope.
I’m thankful for parents who lived lives through word and action that mean that I know without a doubt their love for and belief in Jesus.
I’m thankful that I’m learning to live my faith in front of my kids so that they will know of my love for God.
I’m thankful that I can love people through the loss of a parent because people loved me through the loss of a parent.
I’m thankful for family ties forged anew through the shared fire of grief.
And for glimmers in the lives of others of spiritual awakening and the potential for a change in spiritual family trees.
I’m thankful that I can hug my mom.
I’m thankful for a husband who is graced with intuition and compassion.
I’m thankful for kids who are learning to extend grace to others.
I’m thankful for friends who take us in and make space for us.

And most of all,
I’m thankful for a God who grieves, who mourns, who comforts, who seeks, who finds, who numbers our days and the hairs on our heads. Who watches over us, broods over us, covets our time, and loves us with a steadfast and everlasting love.
A God of hope, strength, future and mystery. A God of grace and power. A God of three-in-one and infinite measure.
A God who loves me, loves my kids, loves crazy relatives, of which I’m one. A God who loves more than I can imagine.
I’m just thankful, and sad, and hopeful, and thankful.