Loving is hard.

Now some of you might be thinking, ‘ok, this is another loving your partner kind of post’. Actually, it’s not.

It is Valentine’s Day and all. There are lovely flowers on my table, I’m slightly sugar shocked, and the sticky pink marshmallow centre of the traditional Valentine’s cookies has yet to be scrubbed off my hands. (Sorry keyboard). So it would make sense that love is, or isn’t, in the air as I ponder what today might mean.

How are you today?

Maybe today is tough. Maybe the usual hype just isn’t for you and you’re just about to stop reading this because, you swear, you’re just not in the mood for a waxing poetical about love today.

You know what? I get it.

Because loving is hard today, just as it has been for about 2 years now.

As I sit with my thoughts and family far away and near, a good week behind me and an underlying sadness warring with the contentment within me, I remember that love is hard.

It’s hard to love each other right now.

I grieve for divides, real and imaginary.

I grieve for separations and separating opinions.

I grieve that others grieve, that the future of how we can love each other again seems uncertain.

It’s hard to love when you’re tired of fighting, in your heart, even if not in your conversations.

How can we love each other again?

It’s not easy and not going to be easy.

God calls us to love, but really, God, even in the midst of this?

Yes, even in the midst of this.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

It does not envy.

It does not boast.

It is not proud.

Love does not dishonor others.

It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered.

Love keeps no record of wrongs^…

How do these sit with you?

They don’t sit easily with me.

I’ve been so angry, sometimes.

I’ve been proud when I should listen.

I’ve kept such a record of wrongs.

In my heart of hearts, I have records of who I’d like apologies from. Some from people I don’t even know.

Because don’t they understand how they’ve hurt me?!?

And my list gets longer, and longer.

And my pride rises and my virtue rises and the planks in my own eyes get heavier and heavier.

And my list gets longer.

Where do I go from here?

Forgiveness, Spirit whispers

Humility, my pride sighs.

And patience, as God’s reassuring hand rests on my shoulder.

This is how we love again. In the understanding of a Jesus who was betrayed, hurt, and loved through it all. In the words of scripture that remind us of the love at the end of a hard journey.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

So here is truth. I need to forgive and be forgiven. I need to rejoice in the right truths, the glory of others created in God’s image, the glory of Immanuel who understands and enables us to love others well.

We find ourselves in the leading of God, as we are pointed and drawn towards each other. We need each other, we really do.

If we trust and hope, then Love will persevere.

This does not need to be the end of us, my friends, it is a beginning.