Soccer Mom has certain connotations, doesn’t it? A certain look, a certain intensity, a certain type. I am a soccer mom. Which means that on Monday and Wednesday nights I’m sitting on a blanket at the soccer field wrestling two kids while watching another play soccer. It’s been an enlightening experience for me. I played most of the sports growing up and it’s interesting for me to be on the other side of the field as a parent. But it’s good.
I had great hopes for this soccer season. Hopes that my son would enjoy it, get some exercise, make some new friends, learn some new skills. But I also have hopes for myself. With the majority of my work life spent in the company of other Christ followers and the rest of my time in a stay at home or church context, I’m trying to meet new people in my community. I’ve been praying for opportunities to connect with people and get to know them, all kinds of people. But I’ve discovered something.
I’m a little shy. There’s still a part of me that needs to overcome the “maybe they’ll think I’m nerdy/creepy/lame/don’t fit in. Because to tell you the truth, last year, I was an organizational soccer mom partial disaster. I felt like I was always about a step behind the other parents. And maybe some of that lingers with me still. The feeling that I’m missing something.
So, as I was sitting on my blanket, I felt like an observer. And I was. I was getting the lay of the land. Seeing who this new crop of people were and how I might interject myself intelligently, wittily, and seamlessly into a conversation. A lot of thought is going into this process.
But there was something I observed that struck me. It was while watching two women who I don’t get the impression saw each other outside of the short soccer season. One approached the other and they began the talk about kids and school (I wasn’t eavesdropping. Clearly the blanket I was on established my prior stake to the area and they had come later. Here’s the disclaimer). What I saw and heard was interesting. Not so much what they said (because I did try not to listen) but the ease of their interaction. Though they hadn’t seen each other for a while, they slipped so easily into speaking of their struggles, families. The level of vulnerability was amazing.
Vulnerability is something we strive for in the Church. It’s essential to discipleship, growth, communion and community. But it’s so difficult in practice. These two women, on sporadic acquaintance, were open in a way that I find difficult and I believe many others in the cChurch would as well. Because when someone you don’t know that well is vulnerable in front of you it’s a little shocking, isn’t it? Yet these women were completely comfortable with it.
Why? Why is it so hard for me/us to be easily vulnerable? God created us for it. It’s essential to community. Lack of trust in other people? Fear of exposure when everyone around you seems to have it all together? Or maybe we feel like we can be vulnerable about the big things like diagnoses or losses, but if we’re vulnerable about the troubling little things it shows lack of faith in God. Is it me? Is it the people around me? Is it warring cultural pushes and pulls that caution us against sharing too much but encouraging us not to close ourselves off?
As I watched those women it reiterated a certainty in me. That we were created for vulnerability. And that takes courage. It takes courage to set aside imperfection in favour of community. Vulnerability is more valuable than perfection or presentation. It is the stuff Christian community is made of.